- No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
- You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
- Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
- You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God’s Bill of Wrongs.
- Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.
- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- When you hear the toilet flush along with the words “uh oh,” it’s already too late.
- Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine makes cats dizzy.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
- Boys only rub your back to find out if you’re wearing a bra.
- Just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom is going to make me clean it up.
- When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer.
- Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Remember, … you’re never too old to hold your father’s hand.
But Jesus called for them and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that thekingdomofGodbelongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive thekingdomofGodas a little child will never enter it.’ ~ Luke 18:16-17
- Life lessons (scatterbrainjane.com)