Star Wars Version of “You Might Be a Redneck …”


Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn (right) and Padawan O...

Image via Wikipedia

It seems that every night this week we have had the television tuned in to yet another “Star Wars” episode. My hubby can practically recite the dialog of all 6 movies and still laughs at the comic moments! So, in honor of  the history portrayed from “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….” I share with you the following list of a Southerners ideal of the Jedi’s life:

  1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
  2. You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll.”
  3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
  4. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored
  5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder
  6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder
  7. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
  8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
  9. You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
  10. You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
  11. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
  12. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
  13. You have ever used the Force to get yourself another coca-cola so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
  14. You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
  15. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
  16. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
  17. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
  18. You have ever used the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll!”
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