Advice for Yankees Moving South

Turn about is fair game!

  • Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
  • Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
  • If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
  • Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. (Let me know if you need an address – the shop is open 24 hours/day!)
  • Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive.
  • Get used to hearing, “You ain’t from around here, ar ya?”
  • Don’t be worried that you don’t understand anyone. (They don’t understand you either.) 🙂
  • Remember Northerners are often identified by the spit on the inside of their car’s windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers. (Keep a hankie handy!)
  • If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle!
  • If you hear a Southerner exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” Stay out of his way. These are likely to be the last words he will ever say.

6 thoughts on “Advice for Yankees Moving South

  1. Ha!

    I’m a southerner who went north to a school…and stayed on in New York City. Note, however, that in our part of Virginia, it was closer to “you all”…maybe “youall”, than “y’all”.

  2. Tooo funny…because it is mostly true. C.J. is now going to college where I noticed every other car/truck in the dorm parking lot had either a gunrack or a decal of a deer head, winchester arms, john deere, bass pro shop or trout unlimited. I love the south. 🙂

  3. Pingback: Advice for Yankees Moving South (via Walking in the Wilderness) | Ado Feck

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