Answers from Students on Music Exams

  • The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called: pre-Madonna.
  • It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas: Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
  • Gregorian chant has no music: just singers singing the same lines.
  • Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
  • At one time singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play themselves.
  • All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
  • Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue.
  • Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
  • A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
  • Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
  • Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.
  • Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.
  • A harp is a nude piano.
  • The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is too tangled up.
  • An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.
  • The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.
  • Agitato is a state of mind when one’s finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.
  • Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you’d better not try to sing.
  • I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.
  • Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
  • My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
  • Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.
  • Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.
  • Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

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